


Highschool Never Ends

by NaturalFaux



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Adorable Cole, Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, Everyone Is Gay, Human Cole, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Bad At Everything, I'm Bad At Literature, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Inquisitor Backstory, Jealous Solas, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, Slow Burn, Solas is an ass, The Author Regrets Everything, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, You Have Been Warned, even you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5637829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaturalFaux/pseuds/NaturalFaux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the Inquisition pals (and some others) are in high school and all around the same age (except Cassandra and Blackwall who are the gym teacher and history teacher respectively).<br/>Love triangles, disastrous swim tryouts, and dodge ball related injuries ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE FORGIVE ME IM LAZY SO I MIGHT NOT FINISH

A terrible idea concocted by a terrible person is what started everything.

"I think you and the student body vice president would be cute."

Dorian turned his critical gaze to Isabela's ever seductive one.

"I have a couple of issues with that. Firstly, I thought I told you to go shove your alarm in your wit's end about my sex life. Secondly, why the vice president, and thirdly, cute?!"

She waved her hand as if dismissing him entirely.

"Well, we've been friends long enough for you to know that I will never hesitate to meddle, especially when it comes to fucking. Also, I'm quite sure the president already has someone in mind, and my apologies, you two would be sexy as hell together."

Sera, who was only watching in amusement until now piped up.

"You sure him and baldy ain't havin it off with each other?"

"Sweetie, I don't think Solas has 'had it' with anything since the 1800's."

Sera went into a veritable giggle fit at that.

"Right, right, but how do we get mustache here with, like, the smartest person with a face tattoo ever?"

She wasn't wrong about that. Dorian does have quite the facial hair.  
As well as the vice presidents questionable placement of body ink. It was very rare for any Dalish to attend school outside of their clans, and the fact that you literally had to stare his culture in the face everytime you saw him didn't help squash intrigue.

Or at least it didn't quell Dorian's interest.  
The man was attractive, he had to admit, and his intelligence wasn't anything to scoff at either, which said a lot, Dorian does quite enjoy scoffing.

Dorian scoffed.

" That doesn't mean he's interested, or even into men."

Sera stopped giggling at that.

"Nah she's right, he likes swinging."

"Swinging?"

"Ugh, swinging? But only one way right? Its the way I swing innit?"

Dorian looked at Isabela, his handy dandy Sera translator.

"What she means is that he's gay pumpkin."

"Oh. Well how do you know?"

"I just do right?" Sera mumbled, chewing on approximately 3 cookies at once.

Dorian just about slammed his head on the table, earning a look from a cafeteria lady.

"Look, I can't deal with maybe or perhaps. Are you entirely certain of this?"

Her muffled reply of "Abso-freakin-lutely" did nothing to quell his fears.

" All right then," Isabela smirked " time to assassinate the vice president."


	2. President Pidgeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the student council is introduced.

Student body president Hawke is a lot of things.

He's far too kind for his own good, is a country bumpkin, and could not stop telling puns if his life depunded on it.

A politician he is not.

Maybe it was just a prank on behalf of his best friend, and school newspaper editor, Varric. Perhaps it was foretold in the ancient prophecy of the second floor men's room (not even kidding, everything up there has actually come true).

Whatever it was, Hawke found himself as the president, being the second write in candidate to win the position. The other was the horse statue in the courtyard, but his reign was short lived after administration realized that Horsemundo wasn't actually a student.

Go figure.

So now Hawke at the mercy of the student body and he is royally screwed.

Well, he would be if not for the rest of the council.

Bartrand was probably the greatest treasurer the school had ever seen, if he would bother to not be an insufferable ass for two seconds.

His VP is phenomenal, an inspiration for all people everywhere, praise the Maker. Hawke had actually had a crush on him a while ago, but they were far too similar and differs for it to last long. If they had actually gone out, the Apocalypse of Dumb High School Losers Telling Terrible Jokes would have happened long ago, and for the sake of the world, they never worked out. They did, however become quite close, almost as close as he and Varric are.

Oh, but his secretary.

The secretary.

An elf with striking white hair that was softer than his mabari's fur when it was a puppy, and eyes the color of forest leaves in the spring, and a voice like James Earl Jones if he was a sex line operator.

His personality left something to be desired.

Hawke didn't care that he was antisocial or bitter or rough. It was a welcome challenge that Hawke was glad to meet head on, if only he didn't mess up every time he talked to the prickly fuck.

That's probably the only reason the school had not imploded when he became president. Garrett Hawke has been told against his own opinion that he is a charismatic young man that happens to look suspiciously like the Bounty paper towel guy. He can talk his way out of just about any situation, be it a fight or a bad grade because Mrs Pentaghast thought he needed to actually learn things in health class.

With Fenris, things were horribly different. It was as if everytime he looked at the elf, Hawke got punched in the gut.  
Which only actually happened a couple times for him staring too long.  
This was probably some cruel joke the universe was placing on the entire school. Fenris is absolutely horrid with social interactions, with only the beautiful blue eyed and blonde haired Sulevin, their majestic VP, and Isabela being able to talk to him normally. Even Varric had a rough time getting a word out of him.  
So how in the world he got the secretary position? Probably Isabela's idea come to think of it. As soon as she found out that President Pidgeon (an unfortunate nickname that stuck) had a crush on him, all bets were off.

Which led him to the situation he was in now.

"So," Hawke coughed into his fist, "you want me to somehow help you set up my second in command with probably the most infamous man in this entire school?"

Isabela's lips turned up in a mischievous grin.

"What do I get in exchange?" He asked, not liking that grin one bit.

She leaned over the desk at him, fluttering her eyelids way too fast for it to be serious

"I'll help you put your manly lips all over Fenris."

Damn it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I get kudos for this crap?


	3. Sulevin and Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lavellan is introduced properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stupid chapter name is stupid

Being probably the only Dalish in an entire high school can be extremely trying.  
People constantly asking where you're from (literally everywhere and nowhere), what it's like living in a nomad clan (it's like being in a road trip except more family members and carts instead of cars), why he left his clan (none of your business), and of course they always ask about the blood rituals.

He never quite has a sarcastic response for that.  
He would be lying if he said they didn't do rituals at all, they most definitely did, but the way people viewed that kind of stuff would have made any admittance detrimental to his clan.  
Not like that matters now.

Sulevin had left, and that was that. No going back, even if he wanted to, and he desperately did want to go back. For him, however, there was nothing to go back to. He's stuck between not being with his people and not fitting in with 'normal' society.

It hurt sometimes, but he preferred to cover up the pain with a crooked smile.  
Just like Hawke.

He had met Hawke almost as soon as he arrived here, which isn't really that much of a surprise considering he met just about everyone instantly. It seems no one here had even seen a Dalish elf before. He was a novelty, but when the novelty wore off he started receiving the treatment he had expected.  
Accusations of demon worshiping (his people do worship spirits though, not demons), taunts of knife-ear and barbarian, and physical violence.  
He had never had much faith in humans, even though he wanted to, but as the bullying continued his faith started waning.  
It had been a particularly bad day for him, he had been purposely tripped at least 4 times, had all his writing utensils stolen, and was currently getting the tar kicked out of him.  
Then he was saved by a pidgeon.  
Hawke jumped in and started beating the shit out of Sulevin's tormentors and watched as they all scrambled away from his onslaught. Only when he was certain they were gone did he turn to the battered elf.

"Whoa... you look like _shit _."__

That seemed to be a catalyst for the rest of his high school experience it seemed. People would come to bully him and Hawke would tackle them, and they would have a nice after-shit-kicking chat. He eventually met Hawke's other friends, Varric, the most amazing writer ever, Isabela, who immediately threatened to wear his eyes as a necklace, Aveline, whom he swears has got to be at least 110% grumpy bear, Anders, who took an immediate liking to him for some reason, and Fenris, who is most definitely 550% grumpy bear.

Sulevin also had two very close friends from before he left his clan.

"I still do not quite comprehend how people like them could have raised someone like you."

Sulevin glared down at his textbook they were studying, a little more than upset that the Dalish only got a handful of paragraphs in it.

"If you're going to spend this entire month," Sulevin mumbled, patting Cole's back when he tried to swallow a cookie whole, "being derogatory to the Dalish, I recommend you find a new best friend."

Solas put his hands up defensively. "I do not mean to insult you or your clan in particular lethallin, I simply-"

"One more word Solas. _One more word_ and it just might be worth it to get suspended for kicking your ass."

Solas chuckled, patting his irate friend on the shoulder.

"We both know I could properly defend myself, and we also know that the worst you would do is glare at me and refuse to humor my musings. I was simply impressed that any society in general could produce someone as... _resplendent_ as yourself."

"Resplendent... like a bird... small but bright, chirping, cheering, cherishing... a song for those who need it."

"Cole, seriously, stop comparing me to small woodland creatures... and the Sun... and flowers, I mean at least try for something more badass for once."

Cole scrunched up his face, thinking.

"Warm and protective... like a bear?"

"Getting there buddy. Baby steps."

"Not you, him."

Sulevin had hardly any warning for Hawke grappling him from behind."

"Speak of the wolf and the wolf is at the door." Solas grumbled, giving Hawke a disapproving look.

"I thought I was a bear?"

"Bears can keep secrets."

Hawke looked on in confusion as Solas quickly gathered his things and left with Cole trailing behind him.

"The fuck does that mean?"

"Some mystical voodoo bullshit, don't worry about it."

Hawke gave him a sheepish grin, and Sulevin sighed. Hawke had _really_ tried to be friendly with Solas, but Solas was probably the only person who was unlikelier to make friends than Fenris. Solas and Hawke were at the separate ends of the spectrum, Hawke is popular and makes friends on accident, and Solas quite literally has a requirements list that people had to pass for him to even acknowledge their presence. Either you were Cole and/or Sulevin, or you were a complete waste of his time. It didn't really help that he believed humans to all be thuggish brutes incapable of higher cognition and Dalish to be newborn babies spitting up whatever nonsense they can in an attempt to imitate their parents. Sulevin saw through his false pretense of respect and civility long ago, but to the untrained eye it really _does_ seem like he believes you can comprehend his immaculate train of thought. Cole and Sulevin were the exceptional exceptions however. Cole had always been a little weird, and with his alcoholic father tossing him around, he couldn't be blamed if he was a little too quiet and a little too empathetic. He could always seem to sense exactly what people were feeling, to an unsettling degree. Sulevin, however... 

Sulevin couldn't quite pin down why Solas liked him so much, especially since he's Dalish. 

Hawke scratched his beard thoughtfully. a slow grin forming on his face. 

"Whatever, no skin off my bones. No hair off his head." 

Sulevin deadpanned. 

"What do you want." 

Hawke's grin only grew wider. 

"You wanna go to a party?"

... 

"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stupid writing is stupid
> 
> OTL


End file.
